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Britney Turnoff Units (BTU)

A widely-used but nonstandard measurement of annoyance toward manufactured pop acts; precisely, the number of seconds of a given artist's output required to turn an appreciation for the artist based solely on their status as eye-candy into a crawling revulsion at the mention of their very name.

See also Jewel.

Lurhmann Units

The generally accepted measurement of high camp, Luhrmann Units represent the number of times a piece of kitsch has to be diluted by its absorption into mainstream popular culture before a panel of five highly opinionated gay men feel it is no longer distinctly "theirs" any more.

Plant's Constant

The quantised unit-thickness of incredibly tight trousers.

Date: 2006-12-06 11:22 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] morecake.livejournal.com
Mmm, Plant's Constant.

Date: 2006-12-06 03:28 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] infinidimincorp.livejournal.com
Jewel is genius. But how is this a unit if it is measured in seconds? It should be the Britney Turnoff Ratio, whereby the time taken for any given artist is compared to the established standard time for this effect with Britney Spears.

Date: 2006-12-07 01:08 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] astatine210.livejournal.com
I think I erred on the side of punning with that one.

Plant's Constant

Date: 2006-12-06 04:56 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] otter-girl.livejournal.com
Squeeze my lemon baby :D

Re: Plant's Constant

Date: 2006-12-07 01:08 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] astatine210.livejournal.com
I thought you'd appreciate that one :)

Re: Plant's Constant

Date: 2006-12-12 05:34 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] longhairedhippy.livejournal.com
Till the juice runs down my...

...uh, yes. Anyway. *shuffles papers* enough of that filth :)

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