I like Christmas as much as the next bloke. Really. I've plenty of happy childhood memories regarding Christmas, and I aim to enjoy myself this time 'round too. My family are basically a good lot, and as long as they respect my space we get along fine.
'Course, that won't stop me from complaining. What could?
Complaint №1: Christmas Music In Shops
Extensive research from the Institute For Stating The Bleeding Obvious has revealed (or would reveal, if anyone took ten minutes to check) the following:
- Repeatedly hearing the same music is irritating. It's the aural equivalent of Chinese Water Torture.
- Irritated people do not do their jobs as well as they could.
- Shops with highly irritated staff do not shift goods as well as shops with less irritated staff (Shops without irritated staff are rare, as they have to deal with the general public on a daily basis).
- Customers will spend more time in a shop that does not irritate them.
- The more time a customer spends in a shop, the more likely it is that they will buy something.
- Hearing the same bloody song list as all the other shops are playing is irritating, and therefore more likely to drive the customer away.
Conclusion: There is little or no point to constantly playing "Christmas Music" in a shop. Everyone who celebrates Christmas bloody well knows what time of year it is, because it's sodding cold outside and you've strewn the place with tinsel. We're not going to forget.
Complaint №2: Okay, okay, everyone knows.
Gentle reader, there is a point to this story. Much as I respect - hell, claim - the right to be a pedantic smartarse, it is worth remembering that bloody everyone knows that Christmas is a pre-Christian midwinter festival overlaid with various westernised Christian imagery.
Atheists and agnostics claim it as evidence that organised religion's at least a little bit dodgy. Neo-pagans get such a smug kick out of the concept so it sticks in the mind, and most Christians do tend to know about it because they learnt all about it at school (and figure you have to celebrate Christ's birth at some point, so winter's as good a time as any). There are, of course, a hard core of ignorant fundamentalists who'll stick their fingers in their ears and sing the rousing carol ‘la la la la, I can't hear you, you're going to burn in hell’ when you broach the subject - but who cares about them? And then there are the followers of other religions, who rather sensibly don't give a toss.
Alright, not quite everyone. It just feels like it.